Letting go

As I'm settling in to start this...flooding of thoughts onto keyboard, I'm looking at my arm fat and thinking "good Lord". That right there is the last of my self-loathing.

The whole purpose of this blog is to break through all the negative thoughts and feelings encasing me in this seemingly unbreakable shell.

And to start, here's a list of positive things I've started lately:

• quit smoking (~6 months ago)
• quit drinking pop (12 days ago)
• quit eating fast food* (unsure of exact date, but at least 12 days ago; no one wants a burger, fries, and water, so this one was incidental, but I will be sticking with it)
• tracking food intake on livestrong

I have the BFF helping with some of these things also. Teamwork really is an excellent thing in most regards, but in the last 12 days, the fact that we're doing this as a team has helped curb some intense cravings and near-misses.

So here's some honesty, and something I do not want to post, because it is quite humiliating. But, if I'm to track anything at all and be honest with my readers (if any), I must post it. Ugh.

Current weight as of 11/8/11, 7:50pm: 313.6

Now that we got that shit out of the way, here's some goals!

• bring that number down to an even 3 bills by 1/1/12
• continue no pop until 1/1/12 (re-assess goals then)
• continue no fast food* until 1/1/13 (Ryan and I quit fast food for a whole year about 5 years ago - I'm 100% we can do it again!)
• gym twice a week, beginning 11/14 (my OCD self just cannot start a cycle mid-week)

*Subway and Jimmy Johns are not considered fast food and will not break any on-going streak.

The next update will give an update on how these goals and changes are going. And after updating everyone, I'll be giving myself a giant pat on the back for continuing to be so awesome at this cold turkey business.

Soundtrack for "Letting Go":

• Awolnation - Guilty Filthy Soul
• Craig David - Fill Me In
• Craig David - Last Night
• Craig David - 7 Days
• Craig David - Rewind